i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
