just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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