Midget sex pt 2 tonight
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
my poor anus
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
