i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
