Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
