The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
