eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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