i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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