Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
