oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
