I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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