A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
