My first STD was from a foam party
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
