So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
