The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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