you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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