my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
