Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
