you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize