I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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