I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
