i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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