Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
