I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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