I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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