You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
