also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
