I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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