He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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