he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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