Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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