Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
