omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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