this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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