we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize