C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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