all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
