We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
