it wasn't lemon gatorade
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize