Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize