im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
