I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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