he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
