Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
