Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize