were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
