OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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