He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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