I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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