His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize