Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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