i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
