If that was your dad, he is hot
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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