Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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