wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
