i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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