I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
