it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
