You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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