OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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