walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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