I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
