guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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