Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
