The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
