It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
